to catch you up

i’m not friends with those girls anymore / or those guys / they were too high on MD /

to come to my birthday party / when school ends / no-one owes each other anything /

i live / somewhere new / and come home / every weekend with purple knees /

and bloody elbows / i can never remember / hitting the pavement / so i welcome reminders / 

i torture myself / pressing fingernails in bruises / and going on Tinder / 

i wonder who you’ve fucked since me / tell me i’m the best you’ve had

the girls with their tits out in their profiles / make me depressed /  i have my tits out in my profile /

and have mastered fantasising / about being hit by a car / then would you pray for me?

men online like to assume / i have daddy issues / because i have my nose pierced /

and my tongue pierced / and my nipples pierced / and my clit pierced / just kidding /

i like to assume / that they have tiny dicks / and are terrible in bed / you were good / 

in bed  / i have new sheets / but i can still see you / and your normal sized dick /

 beside me in the dark

Lauren Mae (they/them) is a student and poet currently residing in Pōneke. They have taken several creative writing courses at the International Institute of Modern Letters, and received the Michael King ‘Signals’ Young Writer’s Prize for Poetry in 2023. Their work has been published in various literary magazines, including Tarot, Circular Magazine, and Overcom. Lauren primarily writes about ‘what-ifs’ and is prone to daydreaming.